Solitude (2)

These days I prefer to be alone because I am grieving. My partner of many years died in March. Nothing can replace her. Mourning is not something I share.

A reader might ask why I am so careful to avoid contagion during the pandemic. It’s because I’m an older man with a history of lung cancer. That makes me a prime target for covid-19 that would likely prove fatal. For me, avoiding others is avoiding death.

So my weeks alone turn into months and maybe into a year. I mostly don’t mind, but sometimes I wonder if so much time alone might make me into one of those old people who’s alone so much he becomes erratic. My cure is to be disciplined—eat, dress, clean normally every day.

We’ll see if it works.