Favorite Humor

I’ve been without internet since yesterday. So here, belatedly, is today’s blog post:

Some years ago, my friend Cody Collins, a man who served with me in Vietnam, sent me a list of his favorite aphorisms. I still enjoy them. Here they are:

It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.

We have enough “youth.” How about a fountain of “smart?”

A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENT’S MISTAKES—USE BIRTH CONTROL

Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.

Alabama state motto: At least we’re not Mississippi

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population

“I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors.”

The reason politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to try to make a living under the laws they’ve passed.

And one of my favorites, not from Cody: Death is jut like going to sleep at night, except that you don’t have to get later to pee.

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